From Me to We
13.7 billion years ago our universe was created when an explosion started.
4.5 billion years ago a dense cloud of dust collapsed and started spinning into a nebula - the pressure growing so immense that hydrogen atoms started combining to make helium and our Sun was born. Other matter was collapsing too and Earth and our solar system was born.
A short 4.5 billion years later and there are 8.1 billion humans on this one planet. And most of us think we are special. Different. Alone even. Yet 8.1 billion humans share 99.9% of the same DNA. Yes, we are all related and very closely related. Look around you next time you are in public - the faces you see, no matter what they look like, are the faces of your relatives.
So why did I share all of those numbers? Perspective matters. When we start to process that we are all made from stardust that was formed at the same time all of those billions of years ago we might start to gain a different perspective on time (our lives are so tremendously short), impermanence (us and most everything around us), permanence (stardust & species extinction), and start to question how we want to spend our very short time on this beautiful and amazing planet.
When we step back from our current belief structures and ponder that we are all actually very closely related to each other perhaps that can open up a new perspective in regards to how we think about ourselves and those around us. Is there really a solid construct of “us” and “them” if we are all the same family? Are there ways we treat each other that are different when we think of someone as family versus if we think of someone as different than us?
The next construct I encourage you to ponder and evaluate is that of “separateness”. Are we really separate from the homeless person on the street, the cashier at the grocery store, the young child crossing the street to get to school, the woman cleaning the toilets in the airport bathroom, the doctor treating our injury, etc.? Do we feel empathy and compassion for the struggles of some more easily than others? And why might that be? And as you consider those for whom it is difficult to channel compassion and empathy, are you able to imagine how that person feels in your presence? Do they feel your disconnection from them? Do they feel the repulsion or fear or whatever emotion it is that you feel towards them?
We are all related by 99.9% of our genetic material yet our culture, education systems, churches, and family beliefs tell us that we are all different from one another. Are they right?
When we start to examine our perspectives and our belief structures we are opening the doors to whole new possibilities in how we see and interact with our world. We have choice and our choice matters very much. I started that exploration some time ago and am still on that journey. I have learned to let go of most “convictions” as I have more deeply embraced the truth that I really don’t know much of anything. What I think I know is really just belief again and not usually fact. And if it is my reality I now understand that my reality is not anyone else’s. What I perceive is what gets through the many “lenses” or “veils” of my experiences and interpretations. And those do not match any else’s. So why would I think my way of seeing things or experiencing them is the “right” way? That is our conditioning again.
I have made the intentional decision to start holding my beliefs, perceptions, and perspectives much more lightly. If there are 8.1 million other people out there with all of their infinite sets of lenses or veils through which they experience the world then who am I to say mine is the only one or even the “right” one? When I realized my conditioning to do that it really brought to light just how me-centered lenses create our beliefs of separateness.
My practice these days is to keep centering on the construct of oneness. We are 8.1 billion humans, all closely related. All with our individual experiences, some group experiences, and each with a unique set of lenses. All impacted by things of which we aren’t even aware such as intergenerational traumas, early childhood experiences, societal issues, and the list goes on. We are all on this one single planet. We are all made of the same stardust that has been recycled from the molecular structure of previously existing rocks, trees, plants, insects, animals, and even humans that lived before us!
If we can embody the understanding that we are all part of the same - we are one - then perhaps we can start opening up our empathy and compassion for one another. And perhaps we can even start to feel a sense of loving kindness towards one another. It doesn’t happen with the flip of the switch but does happen with that intentional cultivation of opening one’s heart to the perspective of oneness. It happens when we realize that not one of us is perfect. It happens when we stop making it about “me” and start to open up to the “we”. It happens when we start wanting others, as well as ourselves, to experience happiness, joy, health, safety, and so much more. The Buddhists call it metta, the mindfulness teachers call it loving kindness, and I call it an act of love.